Gemini - January 2011 - Funny Horoscope

Your age influenced groans when you sit down will get 0.5% worse this month as your knees and back come under the influence of an ageist Saturn.

Prefer oranges to apples, blueberries to blackberries and tapatapinklas to kiwi fruits, in any mystical or smoothy making activities, advises Pluto.

"There's a thin line between being a hero and being a memory" is your Transformers tv series from the 80's phrase of the month.

Stroke rabbits and gerbils in an east to westerly direction (from the nape of the neck to their mid back - no lower) to receive a secret message from the stars in the form of nibbles or squeaky gesticulations.

2011 offers the prospects of at least 4 once in a lifetime opportunities.

 

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Other Horoscopes for this month
Mar 20 - Apr 19
Apr 20 - May 19
May 20 - Jun 20
Jun 21 - Jul 21
Jul 22 - Aug 22
Aug 23 - Sept 21
Sept 22 - Oct 22
Oct 23 - Nov 21
Nov 22 - Dec 21
Dec 22 - Jan 19
Jan 20 - Feb 17
Feb 18 - Mar 19