Leo - December 2011 - Funny Horoscope

Usually, getting out of breath when you take exercise is fine, it's when you get out of breath when you are sitting still that you have a problem. For a brief window on the 16th of the month this truth no longer holds and racing hearts, fast breathing and turning bright red in the face is to be encouraged as Uranus takes over your circulatory system for a brief moment - think of it as a healthy celestial all body enema and not a heart attack*.

Doing that WWE John Cena, the pro wrestler, thing, when you wave your hand in front of someone's face and say "You can't see me," will continue to be hazardous this month especially with Sagittarius and Libra who's speed catching your fingers and bending them back to make you squeal is being enhanced by Neptune and Uranus for approximately the next half a million years from the 15th.

Drug tests should be performed at 6:13 precisely for the exact result you are looking for.

This festive season embrace the fat and overweight even if they aren't wearing a big red suit and white beard.

*Legal Disclaimer: theVoiceofReason.com Funny Horoscopes service accepts no liability for not calling qualified medical experts in the event of a heart attack or some such complaint.

 

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Other Horoscopes for this month
Mar 20 - Apr 19
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Aug 23 - Sept 21
Sept 22 - Oct 22
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Nov 22 - Dec 21
Dec 22 - Jan 19
Jan 20 - Feb 17
Feb 18 - Mar 19