Loudly clearing your throat and spitting into a spittoon in cowboy themed pubs or parks, as well as in the woods, has never been better starred than from 10th-18th this December. Not only will your aim be superb, but the volume and quality of spit will be your best since 1998.

Meditation techniques are next to useless this month as your excitement as Christmas approaches starts to build like it did when you were about 8 years of age.

You will enhance a filing system using the Greek alphabet during one of the most boring office parties your company has ever thrown.

This festive season accept without question things told you by people in white beards, even if the beards look pull-off able.