Aquarius - December 2011 - Funny Horoscope

Someone has used the old 'If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck it must be a duck' routine on you. You are livid, and are determined to find something that walks like a duck and talks like a duck but isn't a duck this month. You will find it on the 17th of the month, although you will not immediately realize your earth shattering discovery.

It is the time of the year when you should reacquaint yourself with your Screaming Tree. We have advised you to find a Screaming Tree many times in years past: A Screaming Tree is a tree at which you can vent your frustrations. A number of Aquarius readers have contacted us to ask if it has to be a 'big lumbering tree' and could it be something smaller like a potted plant or maybe even a vase of flowers? The answer is no. Your Screaming Tree must be something you cannot pick up and throw or kick while venting. And most likely you need to be able to scream at the top of your voice which means you will have to go out into the country away from houses now your 30 acre mansion has been foreclosed on.

This month your winter festivities are most lucky when wearing reindeer antlers that flash every two/three seconds.

 

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Other Horoscopes for this month
Mar 20 - Apr 19
Apr 20 - May 19
May 20 - Jun 20
Jun 21 - Jul 21
Jul 22 - Aug 22
Aug 23 - Sept 21
Sept 22 - Oct 22
Oct 23 - Nov 21
Nov 22 - Dec 21
Dec 22 - Jan 19
Jan 20 - Feb 17
Feb 18 - Mar 19