Gemini - August 2011 - Funny Horoscope

Chopping wood topless continues to be well starred this month, for either sexes, until dusk, or at the time the cock crows, whichever happens first, on the 19th.

Neptune has left you a message somewhere on the History channel on the 7th.

Planet Mars is trying to develop a three finger gesture which is as rude as a one or two finger gesture, and it has chosen Gemini to come up with a solution this month. Help the planet out and you will be rewarded with a near superhuman mastery of junior electronics which will impress a young child later in the year.

Your begrudging realization that your signs of aging are becoming obvious is set to embolden you to take more risks with purchases on your credit card this month, especially if you are teetering on the edge of your upper credit limit in a US government type way.

This month your destiny winks at misfortune like it is a playful kitten.


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