Cancer - August 2011 - Funny Horoscope

Attempts to bluff your way in some traffic situation by attempting a rural southern USA accent are doomed to failure this month unless you can get the correct emphasis on the heeec in the word veee-heeechle (vehicle). Practice and Saturn will have your back in the inevitable bar brawl.

Your anger management and self assertiveness classes will be cancelled erratically throughout the month in an attempt to help you use your newly learned skills.

How do you know when it's right to give someone a double cheek kiss? Do they tell you? Or is it just assumed? Your confusion is about to be helped out by a paternal Neptune in a celestial equivalent of a fayre ground kissing booth meets Swan Lake ballet dance type way.

This month your destiny is about to be refurbished.

 

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Other Horoscopes for this month
Mar 20 - Apr 19
Apr 20 - May 19
May 20 - Jun 20
Jun 21 - Jul 21
Jul 22 - Aug 22
Aug 23 - Sept 21
Sept 22 - Oct 22
Oct 23 - Nov 21
Nov 22 - Dec 21
Dec 22 - Jan 19
Jan 20 - Feb 17
Feb 18 - Mar 19