Aquarius - August 2011 - Funny Horoscope

Peaches are both your lucky and unlucky fruit this month, depending on your celestial aspect - eating a peach when facing a north easterly through to north westerly direction is well starred, but spin round on your own personal axis, especially on the 7th of the month, and you will discover bad stuff even Stephen King left out of his novels. That's fruit for you.

Prefer yellow fly swatters to black ones until the middlemost of August.

Beware frottling, beserking and wazerking for much of the month until just after tea time on the 27th, after that then knock yourself out.

This month your destiny wears the frown of the frustrated donkey.

 

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Other Horoscopes for this month
Mar 20 - Apr 19
Apr 20 - May 19
May 20 - Jun 20
Jun 21 - Jul 21
Jul 22 - Aug 22
Aug 23 - Sept 21
Sept 22 - Oct 22
Oct 23 - Nov 21
Nov 22 - Dec 21
Dec 22 - Jan 19
Jan 20 - Feb 17
Feb 18 - Mar 19