Peaches are both your lucky and unlucky fruit this month, depending on your celestial aspect - eating a peach when facing a north easterly through to north westerly direction is well starred, but spin round on your own personal axis, especially on the 7th of the month, and you will discover bad stuff even Stephen King left out of his novels. That's fruit for you.

Prefer yellow fly swatters to black ones until the middlemost of August.

Beware frottling, beserking and wazerking for much of the month until just after tea time on the 27th, after that then knock yourself out.

This month your destiny wears the frown of the frustrated donkey.