Scorpio - April 2011 - Funny Horoscope

Using everyday food items to defend yourself from ruffians, street fighters and pick pockets, has never been better starred. Saturn suggests a quick jabbing motion with a French baguette, a club over the head with a large pineapple and banana skins to slip them up (fruit fighting tip of the month: the eating part of a banana is just as slippery as the skin - use this knowledge wisely in your battles young warrior.)

Learning to feel happy when you don't is one of the secrets to a happy life. The other is to be a millionaire.

Juxtapose, gynecological and hippy-hippy shake are your lucky crossword answers this month.

This month your destiny is harboring a fugitive.

 

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Other Horoscopes for this month
Mar 20 - Apr 19
Apr 20 - May 19
May 20 - Jun 20
Jun 21 - Jul 21
Jul 22 - Aug 22
Aug 23 - Sept 21
Sept 22 - Oct 22
Oct 23 - Nov 21
Nov 22 - Dec 21
Dec 22 - Jan 19
Jan 20 - Feb 17
Feb 18 - Mar 19