Libra - April 2011 - Funny Horoscope

Britches, 'Yee harghs!', and slapping your thigh while spitting into a spittoon, are well starred this month as Neptune makes your spitting aim more accurate than ever in history.

Folk singing in plain brown, or brown plaid old jumpers, possibly with faux leather arm patches, a medium unkempt beard, doing pitch exercises with your voice before putting you hand to you ear to start singing, and a glass of cider more than three quarters finished, are all spectacularly well starred this month especially after 8pm on Tuesdays and every other Thursday starting from the 14th.

Negotiations concerning renewing a popular television series, a new contract for a baby sitter, or possibly a decision on what paint to use on the outside porch will be aided by a slightly less big than last month's enormous moon.

This month your destiny shares the dreams of a mad dog.

 

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Other Horoscopes for this month
Mar 20 - Apr 19
Apr 20 - May 19
May 20 - Jun 20
Jun 21 - Jul 21
Jul 22 - Aug 22
Aug 23 - Sept 21
Sept 22 - Oct 22
Oct 23 - Nov 21
Nov 22 - Dec 21
Dec 22 - Jan 19
Jan 20 - Feb 17
Feb 18 - Mar 19