Leo - April 2011 - Funny Horoscope

You still haven't fully come to terms with the realization that over 45% of world internet downtime is down to you and your Leo accomplices. Meditate, seek counseling, but whatever you do, and for the love of all that is holy in this world, stop pressing F6 when you are browsing the internet.

Practice an impersonation for emergency social situations this month, advises Saturn. Saturn suggests Barack Obama smoking, Sarah Palin reading a newspaper, Charlie Sheen drinking a bottle of Tiger Blood or Ben Stiller looking like a rabbit caught in the headlights.

Magic card tricks involving the 9 of diamonds are well starred.

Avoid fountains, waterfalls and inflatable swimming pools in your backyard, unless you are suitably dressed or have taken appropriate precautions in your underwear choices as the feeling of "Mmmmhhhh, gotta jump in it looks lovely and wet" will increase five fold until dawn of the 29th.

This month your destiny wears the frown of a Japanese Nuclear Safety Officer.

 

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Other Horoscopes for this month
Mar 20 - Apr 19
Apr 20 - May 19
May 20 - Jun 20
Jun 21 - Jul 21
Jul 22 - Aug 22
Aug 23 - Sept 21
Sept 22 - Oct 22
Oct 23 - Nov 21
Nov 22 - Dec 21
Dec 22 - Jan 19
Jan 20 - Feb 17
Feb 18 - Mar 19