Capricorn - April 2011 - Funny Horoscope

Write ticks rather than crosses when filling out any kind of official form this month, and avoid writing two or more letters in text areas designed for one character per box as this confuses the authorities and may make red terror alerts start flashing next to your name on the computer which won't be helpful next time you need to get a loan if it isn't from a bank in the Middle East.

The numbers 7 and 9 will be almost impossible to place in any Suduko type puzzle on the commute to work on the 21st or 22nd.

Be particularly careful of laser guided shot guns in the early days of the month even if the green or red light is not visible and you can't feel it on the back of your head. However, make it beyond 22nd of the month and your prospects of making it to the end of April increase by a factor of 200%.

This month your destiny is attracted to an unapologetic liar with a handsome bone structure.


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Other Horoscopes for this month
Mar 20 - Apr 19
Apr 20 - May 19
May 20 - Jun 20
Jun 21 - Jul 21
Jul 22 - Aug 22
Aug 23 - Sept 21
Sept 22 - Oct 22
Oct 23 - Nov 21
Nov 22 - Dec 21
Dec 22 - Jan 19
Jan 20 - Feb 17
Feb 18 - Mar 19