Cancer - April 2011 - Funny Horoscope

As predicted last month your attempts at interior decoration led to an alcoholic binge 3 points below Charlie Sheen on the party Richter scale. Even though you have cleared up most of the bottles, there are still some arranged in places only those with a true flair for interior decoration could possibly think of.

Superman's cape, but not Superman himself, is your lucky super hero item of clothing this month. Ever wondered what Superman uses his cape for? You are about to find out Thursday 14th at 5:23 pm in a supermarket or mall parking area.

Geniality, self deprecation, but not doing that body builder posing thing in small briefs all covered in oil with a fake spray-on tan, are your lucky social activities this month.

This month your destiny is like a party that has gotten out of hand but isn't noisy enough for the police to be called yet.

 

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Other Horoscopes for this month
Mar 20 - Apr 19
Apr 20 - May 19
May 20 - Jun 20
Jun 21 - Jul 21
Jul 22 - Aug 22
Aug 23 - Sept 21
Sept 22 - Oct 22
Oct 23 - Nov 21
Nov 22 - Dec 21
Dec 22 - Jan 19
Jan 20 - Feb 17
Feb 18 - Mar 19