New uses for beach hats you bought but were never used include: holding pot plants, temporary-panic mouse/spider restraints, and floppy frisbees for outrageous drunken frisbee matches.

Postpone any plans for deep sea diving sessions, or scuba diving, as Saturn's influence underwater continues to be negated by the adjunct moon.

Are extraterrestrials coming down from the stars in their space ships to attack cows in fields in your area, or is there another explanation? Only time will tell as Neptune seeks to cloud the issue with a complicated conspiracy argument.

Halloween should be celebrated more heartily than usual this year.