Your ability to work up a hair dripping sweat with the smallest of exertions could be a serious medical problem, or it could be Jupiter intervening in a wet t-shirt type way this month.

Following last month's hostage situation you will continue to feel uneasy drinking in back street bars with mustachioed men wearing face masks and capes, but the danger has now passed and the authorities have accordingly reduced the hostage danger in your area down to a medium red (from very red).

Apologies will be badly starred for much of the month, especially any attempt to cell phone-text your way out of an embarrassing situation. Say sorry in person at all times, and, if you are a politician, that means going round everyone's house in your constituency and not lazily relying on the television to do your pathetic groveling.

Your halloween costume should be modeled on Professor Snape.