Advice from an infomercial is about to become profoundly useful in a way that has never happened before in the history of television.

Heart wrenching television programs, excluding shock docs about deformed artists, are zigzagardly starred especially after 11pm on days with an e in them.

Your genuine attempt at engineering a reconciliation between an Israeli and a Palestinian neighbor is set to escalate into something akin to the food fight in Animal House.

Pluto and Jupiter have a plan to convince you of the joys of smoking a pipe in the old Sherlock Holmes type way. Deerstalker hats are also on the agenda, somehow, somewhere...

This month your destiny has learned the difference between +R and -R recordable DVDs.