Gemini - March 2010 - Funny Horoscope

Ducking and diving, right hooking, looking exhausted as if you have just worked out for the last three hours solid, a crusty smell under your armpits which is crying out for anti perspirant, are all set to come under the influence of an energetic Venus this month.

Breaking kitchen utensils, particularly can openers and sieves, are highly starred for much of the month as Neptune continues to transect the Route Of Obama. On the brighter side, Saturn is determined to give you a 2% better than usual chance of getting a bargain on any online auction site with an e in the name. Beware local hardware stores after 3pm on Saturday afternoons.

That feeling you should be somewhere else is about to return to your mind around the 16th of the month.

This month your destiny is wary of the Mad Hatter, or, indeed, any crazy Johnny Depp character.

 

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Other Horoscopes for this month
Mar 20 - Apr 19
Apr 20 - May 19
May 20 - Jun 20
Jun 21 - Jul 21
Jul 22 - Aug 22
Aug 23 - Sept 21
Sept 22 - Oct 22
Oct 23 - Nov 21
Nov 22 - Dec 21
Dec 22 - Jan 19
Jan 20 - Feb 17
Feb 18 - Mar 19