Aquarius - March 2010 - Funny Horoscope

Foot massages, favoring the big toes and the ball of the foot, are speculatively starred this month, and particularly the application of foot balms possibly made out of egg, seaweed or brown lumpy stuff (although there is a wipe your feet thoroughly afterwards and don't then walk on a slippery surface because you could end up sliding along like a circus clown on a banana skin advisory).

Horticulture, including planting saplings with a trowel, are modestly starred for part of the month, as Saturn transects the furrow of no return.

Standing up quickly has a record low 10% chance of making Aquarius feel dizzy on Tuesdays well into April.

Lyrics to a song from 1980's rock legends Queen are well starred, apart from Bohemian Rhapsody, We Are The Champions, Crazy Little Thing Called Love, Radio Gaga, Killer Queen and These Are The Days Of Our Lives.

This month your destiny is shaped like an upside down pear.

 

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Other Horoscopes for this month
Mar 20 - Apr 19
Apr 20 - May 19
May 20 - Jun 20
Jun 21 - Jul 21
Jul 22 - Aug 22
Aug 23 - Sept 21
Sept 22 - Oct 22
Oct 23 - Nov 21
Nov 22 - Dec 21
Dec 22 - Jan 19
Jan 20 - Feb 17
Feb 18 - Mar 19