'Bada Bing', 'ROTFLMFAO' and 'Je suis une rockstar' are three unexpected phrases set to pepper your crossword filling in endeavors this month.

Talking nonsense has never been better starred, with a good chance that you can say anything and it will be believed during the second week of the month. Try your hand at selling things in, maybe, a yard sale, a table top sale, or even one of those local everything in the back of your car sale sale (on your form you could sell the car no problem, but don't).

Shimmying, dancing sideways but not hand jiving are all starred higher than 6.

Car Tips: This month your alternator has a 56% chance of doing something fireworky, explosively or sizzzzzzz-ly.

Your destiny can do with a holiday, it's about 7% away from putting it's underpants on last...