Comedy bunnies / hippopotami / cheetahs and whales are 1.23% worse starred than the real thing this month, especially on Wednesday's and Sunday mornings.

Spear throwing gestures are especially poorly starred around dusk of the 17th, especially if you are involved in some sort of athletics meeting. Put your track suit on and walk away and ignore what they are shouting at you and apologize through your PR people if what you did was misconstrued as racist or makes the local news/YouTube.

A message in a country music song is set to enlighten you as to what you should do with your life for the next thirty years or so.

Your destiny will be dismayed for most of the time.