After last months warnings on beach sports, the problems just keep coming this month. Sunscreen has come under the influence of a cynical Neptune and may be at least a factor 1 less than that advertised on the bottle.

Single arm press ups with a clap in between has a 56% chance of looking hilarious if you get the timing wrong this month, up from 55.5% last month.

Chuckles, guffaws but not LOLs are favoured by the planets for more times than not.

Getting angry will not make any difference on the 23rd when you are set to confront on the phone a customer services agent who can't really speak English - beware of speaking sentences off her list because it doesn't really matter how much you yell she wont understand.

This month your destiny is the peacemaker in an ocean of disappointment.