Cancer - August 2010 - Funny Horoscope

'Sublime', 'delicate' and 'exquisite' are three words set to pepper a futile attempt at literary or musical criticism this month, especially on Tuesday's.

Eating and drinking on roller coasters, especially the ones that flip you upside down no more than three times in a minute are well starred, with chocolate milk being the planets' preference.

Jumping over things Evil Knevil style has a 5% better than usual chance of success this month.

General murmuring under your breath, aimless whistling, or singing when you know only about 25% of the words and /or 25% of the tune, are inevitably starred this month.

Your destiny has bought some really gnarly shorts for the beach.

 

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Other Horoscopes for this month
Mar 20 - Apr 19
Apr 20 - May 19
May 20 - Jun 20
Jun 21 - Jul 21
Jul 22 - Aug 22
Aug 23 - Sept 21
Sept 22 - Oct 22
Oct 23 - Nov 21
Nov 22 - Dec 21
Dec 22 - Jan 19
Jan 20 - Feb 17
Feb 18 - Mar 19