Now is the best time since March 2008 to accurately guess peoples weight and age, as Saturn traverses a globular Mars.

Grotesques, including over friendly morbidly obese people, are poorly starred for much of the time - beware particularly at tea time on the 7th, 8th, 9th and 23rd of the month.

Ordering fast food will provide a moment of well needed introspection this month when the drink you ordered is much nicer than you anticipated.

This month your destiny is more like Chip than Dale, in Disney's popular chipmunk duo.