Aquarius - April 2010 - Funny Horoscope

Jupiter has devious plans to test your faith this month: Members of the scientific community are being encouraged to challenge your faith in the unerring accuracy of horoscopes. Never listen to anyone who claims we don't know what we are saying, we spend years working out what the planets are talking about before we write these predictions. Ultimately it's up to you to decide, but if the scientist intent on berating your horoscope faith doesn't go away, ask about the Big Bang Theory, and smirk when you ask is it true that scientists think that one time everything in the universe was a single grapefruit size and it just exploded all of a sudden and made everything that exists - laugh at him and say doesn't sound convincing to me, jerk!

Junk food is about to come under the influence of a rabid Venus this month, especially cheese burgers and any of the double decked burger types with lettuce and gherkin in them.

Do not underestimate the power of dance, especially on Saturday mornings around the time the clock chimes 11. If you don't have a clock that chimes in your living quarters never fear, just gently ding a glass with a spoon at the desired time.

This month your destiny indicates a double dip.

 

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Other Horoscopes for this month
Mar 20 - Apr 19
Apr 20 - May 19
May 20 - Jun 20
Jun 21 - Jul 21
Jul 22 - Aug 22
Aug 23 - Sept 21
Sept 22 - Oct 22
Oct 23 - Nov 21
Nov 22 - Dec 21
Dec 22 - Jan 19
Jan 20 - Feb 17
Feb 18 - Mar 19