Horse whinnying, neighing and snorting are all horsy sounds set to pepper an otherwise not particularly horsy filled month this September. Avoid running and jumping onto the back of a horse and shouting 'giddy up!' into well through dusk of the third Thursday of November.

Nose flicking and ear boxing are two ancient sports set to reappear surreptitiously in your ESPN dominated viewing schedule this month.

Flushing the toilet on the 18th could be misconstrued by aliens from another planet or UFOs flying past the window at the time. Flush quickly and confidently to avoid unwelcome attention and difficult to dislodge metallic probes.

Inhibitions may help you avoid an embarrassing incident involving water filled balloons and topless waitresses on the 6th.