After last month's interest in all things French, now may be the time to try some more homely cooking. Man cannot live by garlic snails alone, even though Saturn thinks they are absolutely delicious and the smell is mouthwatering from about 25 billion miles away.

Sleeping in the open is well starred as long as a hole hasn't appeared in your roof all of a sudden. If it has then it is very very badly starred, especially if you can see Mars - planks of wood may be your only solution.

Outrageously bouffant hair with flowers in is set to make this the most Amy Winehouse of months since her drinking got the better of her a couple of years ago. Avoid drinking liquor doubles with triples washed down with a pitcher of beer and you should be fine until sunset on the 8th.