Gemini - September 2009 - Funny Horoscope

Roaring, saying 'argh!' and stabbing your hand in the air threateningly, are all starred upwards of 7 on the appropriate scale for more times than not this month.

Drinks in tall elegant glasses that are served automatically with cherries and olives are perfectly starred at last, following a period of poor planetary attention. Hangovers in particular are set to lessen by up to 0.4% as the month progresses with Jupiter picking up the celestial tab.

War movies in which Jake Gyllenhaal stars are so badly starred that in Ireland the leprechauns will be placarding the movie theatres in which any film he has out at the moment is being shown. It's a shame because he put in a lot of hard work in bulking up his physique for the movie.

Beware being seduced by the ending credits of a favorite television show or movie. It is not your want to know what an assistant grip does.

 

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Other Horoscopes for this month
Mar 20 - Apr 19
Apr 20 - May 19
May 20 - Jun 20
Jun 21 - Jul 21
Jul 22 - Aug 22
Aug 23 - Sept 21
Sept 22 - Oct 22
Oct 23 - Nov 21
Nov 22 - Dec 21
Dec 22 - Jan 19
Jan 20 - Feb 17
Feb 18 - Mar 19