Capricorn - September 2009 - Funny Horoscope

After last month's intrigue with a person who looks 25% like a movie star, this month you are set to encounter a person with a self improvement program that promises a movie star-like body in 6 easy weeks. Unfortunately the body the person is referring to is Dick Cheney's, and not Taylor Lautner or Steven Strait that you might reasonably assume he meant. But he didn't. Read the small print at all times, especially sections 4 thru 8.2.

Power pack Abs planetary tip: 1000 sit ups a day will, over time, give you a ripped ab physique that will be welcomed by any self respecting Men's Health cover magazine editor... but the downside of this is that sit ups mean looking at your knees a lot - something to think about in the months it will take to make your abs as hard as your elbows...

Someone with blue eyes is hatching a surprise for you. Trust nobody and record all of your telephone conversations until Michaelmas.

This month your destiny is in the form of the temporarily placated goat.


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