Cancer - September 2009 - Funny Horoscope

A movie with an overwhelmingly blue hue which involving lots of blue sea, toplessness and women in bikinis, are well starred, particularly for our Bermuda and Hawaiian readers.

Geronimo!, Yahoo! and Wackoff! are all now internet adopted exclamations you should treat with care until the cock crows for the 6th of September.

Chipmunks, especially the Walt Disney Chip and Dale types (including all of their furry relations) are so badly starred it is a best to delay any picnics in national parks in which you intend to sit on a yellow blanket with a brown picnic basket filled with delicious treats.

Tree felling, coyotes running through with Acme products and emu-cheeky-types exclaiming "me me", "moi moi", or "moom moom" depending on which country you live in, are all variously badly starred depending on a number of factors far too complex to go into here. Normally we would have a premium rate telephone number for you to call at this point charging 75c a minute, but we don't. Just run away. And remember us to your friends when this piece of advice comes true.

 

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Other Horoscopes for this month
Mar 20 - Apr 19
Apr 20 - May 19
May 20 - Jun 20
Jun 21 - Jul 21
Jul 22 - Aug 22
Aug 23 - Sept 21
Sept 22 - Oct 22
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Nov 22 - Dec 21
Dec 22 - Jan 19
Jan 20 - Feb 17
Feb 18 - Mar 19