Aries - September 2009 - Funny Horoscope

Anvils, molten steel, but not oversized hammers, are moderately starred this month, as are oversized hats and trombones.

Women who inadvertently purr and men who grunt are badly starred particularly in the shower.

Beware the tolling of the bell for which you previously asked who it tolled for. Nothing good will come of it.

Ernest Hemingway tops the charts of dead writers that are enticingly priced reads you should avoid this month, at least until Saturn transects a trajectory of literary significance.

Your faith in corporate governance is about to be tested by an aggressive banker who doesn't know his APR from his ass hole..

 

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Other Horoscopes for this month
Mar 20 - Apr 19
Apr 20 - May 19
May 20 - Jun 20
Jun 21 - Jul 21
Jul 22 - Aug 22
Aug 23 - Sept 21
Sept 22 - Oct 22
Oct 23 - Nov 21
Nov 22 - Dec 21
Dec 22 - Jan 19
Jan 20 - Feb 17
Feb 18 - Mar 19