Taurus - October 2009 - Funny Horoscope

Mayonnaise is about to come into its own this month in any of its various full fat to no fat incarnations. Indeed, this month the sheer variety of goods in the supermarket is set to either inspire and invite poetry, or start to become overwhelming. If the latter then this is nothing to do with the planets - you have been working too hard and are approximately 0.7% away from a nervous breakdown. If it is the former then buy special writing paper and possibly a quill and bottles of dippy ink or at least a ball point pen costing more than 50c, and write beautiful consumer inspired poetry to make Saturn cry with the pride of a proud mother.

Tomatoes, cucumbers and celery will particularly inspire verse as well as hams and chicken slices of various brands and countries of origin.

Exotic animals that like clinging to trees are well starred, especially when a cocktail is named after them, from the 17th.

This month your destiny has Muppet Flu.

 

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Other Horoscopes for this month
Mar 20 - Apr 19
Apr 20 - May 19
May 20 - Jun 20
Jun 21 - Jul 21
Jul 22 - Aug 22
Aug 23 - Sept 21
Sept 22 - Oct 22
Oct 23 - Nov 21
Nov 22 - Dec 21
Dec 22 - Jan 19
Jan 20 - Feb 17
Feb 18 - Mar 19