Capricorn - October 2009 - Funny Horoscope

Grudge matches with your worst enemy are well starred this month as long as your opponent is Aries or a fellow Capricorn. All other star signs are badly starred to the point of run to the hills levels of bad luck. Beware in particular falling over backwards over low hedges and particularly into busy roads, incoming heat guided missiles, buckets filled with custard, your trousers falling down unexpectedly, computers breaking unexpectedly just after you have put a really naughty wallpaper on your desktop, and people with tourette's.

Lawn mowing is particularly excitingly well starred this month, as is cutting hedges with those large scissor type thingies.

Saturn and Mercury both cast a furrowed brow this month to all Capricorns intent on self improvement programs: Now is not the time, disregard any smiley faced positive self motivators who try to persuade you otherwise - they are probably on commission.

This month your destiny has started holiday shopping already.

 

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Other Horoscopes for this month
Mar 20 - Apr 19
Apr 20 - May 19
May 20 - Jun 20
Jun 21 - Jul 21
Jul 22 - Aug 22
Aug 23 - Sept 21
Sept 22 - Oct 22
Oct 23 - Nov 21
Nov 22 - Dec 21
Dec 22 - Jan 19
Jan 20 - Feb 17
Feb 18 - Mar 19