Aquarius - October 2009 - Funny Horoscope

Levitation, mind control and speed eating are all highly starred this month, and Jupiter is currently pondering the merits of taking control of your stomach around the 17th.

Periods of bed rest are highly starred, as are moments of stand up quarreling, especially now you can (temporarily) read your boss's mind. Tuesday may be the best time to ask for a raise.

Mercury begins a decade long trajectory through the dominant waterfall star configuration on the 6th of the month. Try to solve any whodunit type riddles by that time, as your chances of successfully solving problems like this diminishes quite remarkably from thence on.

A joke involving an Irishman, a Polish man and a horse may make you wish you had not laughed so hard around the 21st.

This month your destiny is like a fish on a bike trying to pedal up a steep incline.


This feature is brought to you by

© 2000 onwards
Other Horoscopes for this month
Mar 20 - Apr 19
Apr 20 - May 19
May 20 - Jun 20
Jun 21 - Jul 21
Jul 22 - Aug 22
Aug 23 - Sept 21
Sept 22 - Oct 22
Oct 23 - Nov 21
Nov 22 - Dec 21
Dec 22 - Jan 19
Jan 20 - Feb 17
Feb 18 - Mar 19