Aries - November 2009 - Funny Horoscope

Collective group activities, especially ones involving middle aged fattish women and flowers and cups of coffee and cup cakes on a Sunday afternoon, possibly in a church or local community center or at least in a meeting place that has that rusty, dusty, type smell to it and chairs they keep stacked in a small room nearby, are precisely starred this month.

Hoola hoops, especially when gyrating them clockwise after midday on the 7th, are well starred, excepting for Ariesians over the age of 85 years in which case there is a planetary hip slip advisory in place.

You will be named in an autobiography that comes out this month, maybe by name but most likely in general terms. Enjoy your moment in the limelight and accept any of the benefits of your fame with a stoical, resigned aplomb.

This month your destiny has the nippy fingers of Darth Vader.

 

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Other Horoscopes for this month
Mar 20 - Apr 19
Apr 20 - May 19
May 20 - Jun 20
Jun 21 - Jul 21
Jul 22 - Aug 22
Aug 23 - Sept 21
Sept 22 - Oct 22
Oct 23 - Nov 21
Nov 22 - Dec 21
Dec 22 - Jan 19
Jan 20 - Feb 17
Feb 18 - Mar 19