Taurus - May 2009 - Funny Horoscope

Daredevil speeding but have never had a serious accident, the love of 'daring do', macho car races on public highways, hearty slaps on the back from other daredevil types, are set to pepper this month in either reality or a nice action packed dream on the 18th of the month.

Full body searches are also well starred from the 6th onwards until late on the 29th. Slaps on bottom cheeks are particularly well starred around the 5th.

Chocolate is mediumly starred, but when eaten with marshmallow this goes up to a full 6 on the celestial luck charts. Lottery wins are more than 0.1% more likely after eating chocolate this month, if Neptune is to be believed.

Watch out for reruns of 1980s hit TV shows around the 14th.

 

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Other Horoscopes for this month
Mar 20 - Apr 19
Apr 20 - May 19
May 20 - Jun 20
Jun 21 - Jul 21
Jul 22 - Aug 22
Aug 23 - Sept 21
Sept 22 - Oct 22
Oct 23 - Nov 21
Nov 22 - Dec 21
Dec 22 - Jan 19
Jan 20 - Feb 17
Feb 18 - Mar 19