Sagittarius - May 2009 - Funny Horoscope

A fat person you have secretly cruelly nicknamed 'The Blob' could be set for secret, cruel, nickname revenge this month. Beware strangers smiling on your approach and possibly snickering at your expense. Does 'The Blob' know of your secret, cruel, nickname and is scheming to bring you down? or was this all just a Saturn inspired coincidence?

Fish racing is a new sport you are set to invent, or at least aid in its invention this month. Handled correctly, this could be the next Twitter type internet sensation. Well done, thank your lucky planets, especially Uranus.

A lotion, or some sort of creamy substance, is set to provide moments of glee this month if Saturn has anything to do with it. Rumours of an anti-aging cream that actually works are set to add excitement to your beautifying endeavours.

Look out behind you 5% more than usual for incoming scares.


This feature is brought to you by

© 2000 onwards
Other Horoscopes for this month
Mar 20 - Apr 19
Apr 20 - May 19
May 20 - Jun 20
Jun 21 - Jul 21
Jul 22 - Aug 22
Aug 23 - Sept 21
Sept 22 - Oct 22
Oct 23 - Nov 21
Nov 22 - Dec 21
Dec 22 - Jan 19
Jan 20 - Feb 17
Feb 18 - Mar 19