Leo - May 2009 - Funny Horoscope

Leo is the Superman star sign without the ability to fly, see x-ray-edly, or to make bullets bounce off their body. The benefit of being a Superman without these powers is limited in scope, but you make the most of it in an endearing glass half-full type way. Sometimes Leos get depressed at their lack of powers but never fear, dogs love Leo and always have a welcoming lick, nose in the groin nudge, or paw.

On the negative side, cats hate your living guts, but you can't have everything.

Earrings and nipple piercings look set to pop their way through the month. Perhaps you have plans to get a piercing, or maybe someone you know does, or third possibility someone may become accidentally impaled by your actions in a horribly, but surprisingly unbloody, type way. The signs are all there, just like in The Omen when that guy took a picture and you saw a bolt of lightening go into the guy who later got struck by lightening. Yea, it's that scary and unfortunately it works with digital photography not just the old fashioned kind.

Beware denominations of 5 in all paper money. $5s, €5s or £5s all bode ill. No other money counts.

 

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Other Horoscopes for this month
Mar 20 - Apr 19
Apr 20 - May 19
May 20 - Jun 20
Jun 21 - Jul 21
Jul 22 - Aug 22
Aug 23 - Sept 21
Sept 22 - Oct 22
Oct 23 - Nov 21
Nov 22 - Dec 21
Dec 22 - Jan 19
Jan 20 - Feb 17
Feb 18 - Mar 19