Capricorn - March 2009 - Funny Horoscope

Following on from last months problems with eggs and bacon, meat substitutes will now become your primary source of eating angst. An eating establishment at which you have been enjoying your vegetarian chicken-type tasting meals for the last five years or so are set to make news locally as the chicken-like substitute you have been enjoying is sometimes, but not always, actually chicken and isn't a substitute at all. Legal action is probably pointlessly expensive so shouting at the chef is your only hope - Neptune is set to provide a weakness in the chef's joie d'vivre around the 17th, so get him then.

You are about to discover a mint that will change your life. Trouble is you won't be able to stop talking about it. Is the mint the life changing thing, or is it the boring of others about it? Only you and Saturn can square the circle on this riddle this month.

This month your destiny is strictly no frills.

 

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Other Horoscopes for this month
Mar 20 - Apr 19
Apr 20 - May 19
May 20 - Jun 20
Jun 21 - Jul 21
Jul 22 - Aug 22
Aug 23 - Sept 21
Sept 22 - Oct 22
Oct 23 - Nov 21
Nov 22 - Dec 21
Dec 22 - Jan 19
Jan 20 - Feb 17
Feb 18 - Mar 19