Capricorn - June 2009 - Funny Horoscope

A new beginning, or possibly a new ending, or maybe a bit of both, is in prospect this month. Yes, the planets are being annoyingly vague, but the stars certainly look like they have something up their celestial sleeves for you in the coming months (probably better be prepared for another white rabbit to look after).

Chocolate muffins and iced donuts are particularly well starred especially if you have kept to any diet. Indeed, as a reward for your dieting excellence, Jupiter has decided to reward you with an 'eat all you want with no consequences' day on 14th - on this day, and for this day only, you can eat anything and your weight will not rise.

Strive for cockeyed optimism at all times, and if you get the chance to learn one of those trite World War 2 songs to fill in any pause when standing round the piano while someone runs around trying to find someone who knows how to play it, then do so.

This month your Alpha is down, your Beta is down but your Omega makes up for it all with gusto.

 

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Other Horoscopes for this month
Mar 20 - Apr 19
Apr 20 - May 19
May 20 - Jun 20
Jun 21 - Jul 21
Jul 22 - Aug 22
Aug 23 - Sept 21
Sept 22 - Oct 22
Oct 23 - Nov 21
Nov 22 - Dec 21
Dec 22 - Jan 19
Jan 20 - Feb 17
Feb 18 - Mar 19