Cancer - June 2009 - Funny Horoscope

If you have been waiting for the right time to shout and scream at someone or thing, then this month you will have no less than five optimum planetary conjunctions to aid you in your venomous outpourings: Mailmen, plumbers and employees of companies that begin with the letter T, are all so badly starred your victory will be pretty much a speedy and effortless slam-dunk. Those whom you oppose this month will be reduced to terrified wrecks and will be scared to respond with even a funny look as Saturn sits on your angry shoulder.

Wash your face anti-clockwise until the 19th and then clockwise for the rest of the month. All anti-aging products are set to make you look older for most of the time, again.

This month your Alpha is fine, it's your Beta that is struggling and your Omega, well, hardly worth mentioning it.


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Other Horoscopes for this month
Mar 20 - Apr 19
Apr 20 - May 19
May 20 - Jun 20
Jun 21 - Jul 21
Jul 22 - Aug 22
Aug 23 - Sept 21
Sept 22 - Oct 22
Oct 23 - Nov 21
Nov 22 - Dec 21
Dec 22 - Jan 19
Jan 20 - Feb 17
Feb 18 - Mar 19