Taurus - August 2009 - Funny Horoscope

Long words that end in 'ick' or 'ia' are well starred this month, as are your chances of success if you were to enter any spelling competitions. This, of course, doesn't mean you will win a spelling competition, it just means that you have a 1-3% better chance than you normally would have done. That means if you suck bad normally then you will continue to suck bad because 1-3% less sucking bad doesn't make a much of a difference, but if you are border line sucking bad to bad then it could shift you up to the bad category. Of course if you are in the borderline brilliant to genius bracket then an extra 1-3% could make all the difference.

Standing on one leg in a field may well answer that old question 'Does a tree that falls in the wood make a sound?' This answer may well come to you in a feeling rather than words. Yes, pins and needles in your leg could be the answer.

Sumo size people will become increasingly attracted you as the month goes on. Avoid throwing sand over your shoulder as it will only encourage them.

This month your destiny wears checked shirts and checked trousers at the same time.

 

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Other Horoscopes for this month
Mar 20 - Apr 19
Apr 20 - May 19
May 20 - Jun 20
Jun 21 - Jul 21
Jul 22 - Aug 22
Aug 23 - Sept 21
Sept 22 - Oct 22
Oct 23 - Nov 21
Nov 22 - Dec 21
Dec 22 - Jan 19
Jan 20 - Feb 17
Feb 18 - Mar 19