Scorpio - August 2009 - Funny Horoscope

The planets will be paying their own individual tributes to pop legend Michael Jackson this month (even though putting the word 'pop' in front of the word 'legend' somehow seems to downgrade the 'legend' bit to all but Neptune). The immediate upshot of this, this month, up until dusk on the 19th, is that moonwalking will become childishly easy in the front, back and sideways directions.

However, a warning, plastic surgery will continue to be badly starred especially nose jobs that have a 56% chance of going wonky until mid November. Injecting Demerol is also problematic until the cock crows on the 28th. Cutting your eyebrows is mostly badly starred in any body hair removal regime (the best starred is carefully around the naughty bits).

Beetles, lizards and insects that hiss or nip with pincers when they are angry are all well starred

This month your destiny is determined to jump to a conclusion.

 

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Other Horoscopes for this month
Mar 20 - Apr 19
Apr 20 - May 19
May 20 - Jun 20
Jun 21 - Jul 21
Jul 22 - Aug 22
Aug 23 - Sept 21
Sept 22 - Oct 22
Oct 23 - Nov 21
Nov 22 - Dec 21
Dec 22 - Jan 19
Jan 20 - Feb 17
Feb 18 - Mar 19