Scorpio - August 2009 - Funny Horoscope

The planets will be paying their own individual tributes to pop legend Michael Jackson this month (even though putting the word 'pop' in front of the word 'legend' somehow seems to downgrade the 'legend' bit to all but Neptune). The immediate upshot of this, this month, up until dusk on the 19th, is that moonwalking will become childishly easy in the front, back and sideways directions.

However, a warning, plastic surgery will continue to be badly starred especially nose jobs that have a 56% chance of going wonky until mid November. Injecting Demerol is also problematic until the cock crows on the 28th. Cutting your eyebrows is mostly badly starred in any body hair removal regime (the best starred is carefully around the naughty bits).

Beetles, lizards and insects that hiss or nip with pincers when they are angry are all well starred

This month your destiny is determined to jump to a conclusion.


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Mar 20 - Apr 19
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