Gemini - February 2009 - Funny Horoscope

In these credit crunch times retailers are only too happy to accept less than the price they are displaying to get a sale, but to get this you must pretend that you don't really want the thing you are buying at all. The trick Saturn is keen to teach this month is that for best results never ever ever take 'no' for an answer. This month you will also learn the hard way not to take 'the store is closing at 9pm' for an answer either - if the police have to carry you from the building keep up the indifference at all times for best results. (Saturn thinks we should get a premium rate telephone number and a $39.99 DVD to further explain this technique.)

Donkeys are well starred this month, that, of course, is the furry four legged animal type of donkey and not anyone that you may have named Donkey for reasons known only to yourself.

A crusty loaf of bread will provide moments of lip tingling satisfaction around the 6th.

Cooking asparagus is ill starred as Jupiter transects the darker side of the moon.


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Other Horoscopes for this month
Mar 20 - Apr 19
Apr 20 - May 19
May 20 - Jun 20
Jun 21 - Jul 21
Jul 22 - Aug 22
Aug 23 - Sept 21
Sept 22 - Oct 22
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Nov 22 - Dec 21
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Jan 20 - Feb 17
Feb 18 - Mar 19