All your internet shopping bargain hunting is set to come under the influence of Neptune from the 5th after which time bargains will literally drip from your keyboard. Half-priced household goods, dvds, and other products too numerous to mention will be priced so unbelievably low that you will have to pinch yourself that this isn't all a dream. Yes, you have moved to Bargainsville. No money? - Don't worry - Saturn has a surprise in store for you on the 10th!

Talking to plants is particularly well starred this month, as is dancing for them which includes many forms of dancing including pole dancing, lap dancing but not belly dancing.

Red hats are well starred this month. We are often criticised for saying what our critics claim are 'vague' things like this - no, it doesn't mean you have to actually wear a red hat.

This month your destiny is in the hands of your harshest critic.