Capricorn - December 2009 - Funny Horoscope

It's that time of the year Jupiter always thinks you should consider taking up something new so that you can give it up in a blaze of publicity as a new year's resolution to impress those around you. Let's face it, your Capricornican self determination needs a good kick sometimes, and if you can't do it fake it. Think positive: Jupiter is on your side, only Saturn and Pluto disagree.

Party food is escalated to a formal advisory for all of December, going into January, with a particular warning against eating cakes more than half covered in icing - Saturn seems determined to undermine you this month for reasons not immediately apparent from your charts, it must be one of his short term funks, go figure.

This month your destiny will be found looking for shelter in the ice cold snowy seasonal weather, unless you are reading this in the southern hemisphere in which case it will come wrapped in bikini bottoms and funny bouncy ears.

 

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Other Horoscopes for this month
Mar 20 - Apr 19
Apr 20 - May 19
May 20 - Jun 20
Jun 21 - Jul 21
Jul 22 - Aug 22
Aug 23 - Sept 21
Sept 22 - Oct 22
Oct 23 - Nov 21
Nov 22 - Dec 21
Dec 22 - Jan 19
Jan 20 - Feb 17
Feb 18 - Mar 19