Taurus - August 2009 - Funny Horoscope

Jason Statham should be your role model in any hardware based purchasing activities this month. You may even get a discount if you remove your shirt before lifting heavy supplies of wood to your truck. Ask before your strip to avoid disappointment.

Jupiter and Saturn are in beneficial alliance in any home improvement tasks - apart from that dangerous looking circle sawing thingie that looks like it is begging to remove someone's fingers or hand - no planet in the universe can make that sucka safe and don't believe any horoscope that says they can because they can't... charlatans...

A large bird, a small furry mammal or a talkative child are set to provide moments of danger this month while driving at 10% above the speed limit.

This month your destiny is a backseat driver.

 

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Other Horoscopes for this month
Mar 20 - Apr 19
Apr 20 - May 19
May 20 - Jun 20
Jun 21 - Jul 21
Jul 22 - Aug 22
Aug 23 - Sept 21
Sept 22 - Oct 22
Oct 23 - Nov 21
Nov 22 - Dec 21
Dec 22 - Jan 19
Jan 20 - Feb 17
Feb 18 - Mar 19