Scorpio - April 2009 - Funny Horoscope

There may be be a law against me telling you to take up a crime, but this month you are about to discover that crime pays and it pays in fat oodles of ripe and ready cash, especially if the crime in question is completely technically legal.

Opportunities to practice your technically legal criminality will present itself in many and varied forms this month, possibly involving people you know, have seen on crime shows on the TV, or have stumbled upon down dark alleys at night. Any which way, give it your best shot and hope that the law enforcement officers that half heartedly specialise in stopping your technically legal crimes are Taureans who have enough on their plates this month than to worry about little old harmless you.

Donkeys are well starred in any reenaction of biblical scenes, although watch out behind the donkey they call Dropsey. You will know what that means if it is relevant.

This month your destiny wears the floppy hat of a world war one pilot.

 

This feature is brought to you by theVoiceofReason.com

© theVoiceofReason.com 2000 onwards
 
Other Horoscopes for this month
Mar 20 - Apr 19
Apr 20 - May 19
May 20 - Jun 20
Jun 21 - Jul 21
Jul 22 - Aug 22
Aug 23 - Sept 21
Sept 22 - Oct 22
Oct 23 - Nov 21
Nov 22 - Dec 21
Dec 22 - Jan 19
Jan 20 - Feb 17
Feb 18 - Mar 19