Gemini - April 2009 - Funny Horoscope

Irritation and irritants are the watchwords throughout your Gemininian April. Mohair, itchy moustaches and greasy food will all collide on your celestial irritation chart to provoke you into action...

Smashing your fist on glass tables not hard enough to go through them, slamming doors just enough so that they bang but don't fall off the wall hinges, and screaming at the top of your voice but without scaring small children or babies, are in prospect.

This month you are at a 5% chance of being slapped in the face with a wet fish for some reason or other.

Your destiny wears the tight shorts of an overeager teenage cheerleader.

 

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Other Horoscopes for this month
Mar 20 - Apr 19
Apr 20 - May 19
May 20 - Jun 20
Jun 21 - Jul 21
Jul 22 - Aug 22
Aug 23 - Sept 21
Sept 22 - Oct 22
Oct 23 - Nov 21
Nov 22 - Dec 21
Dec 22 - Jan 19
Jan 20 - Feb 17
Feb 18 - Mar 19