Cancer - April 2009 - Funny Horoscope

Is it possible that a small heirloom you have forgotten about but is in the back of a cupboard or drawer, is set to make this month zing with interplanetary supernatural well being? The answer in short is yes...

Neptune is attempting to provide you with war time, or at least 1930's-40's type money saving tip advice and the use of old artefacts from relatives past is a neat way of getting the advice across on your plane of reality and at the same time has a good prospect of scaring the willies out of you if it all goes wrong. Beware old cigarette lighters, pendants of goats, and pearly things until well into dusk of the 27th.

Your use of expletives is set to increase 5% this month as Saturn hyperventilates.

Your destiny will take the form of a pudding filled with raisins but not sultanas.

 

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Other Horoscopes for this month
Mar 20 - Apr 19
Apr 20 - May 19
May 20 - Jun 20
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Jul 22 - Aug 22
Aug 23 - Sept 21
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Dec 22 - Jan 19
Jan 20 - Feb 17
Feb 18 - Mar 19