Aries - April 2009 - Funny Horoscope

Constantinople, Istanbul, Orlandooooo, are all foreign sounding place names set to provide moments of travel based angst this month. Beware travel representatives and their minions for much of the month, especially those with clipboards well filled with yellow forms.

Tripping over random objects left on the carpet, either where you live or elsewhere, will bring an Olympic quest type challenge to your life this month, and for much of May. Mars suggests walking around objects rather than somersaulting head-over-heals over them as if to impress someone you wish to woo. Leave your woo-wishing dreams to Jupiter who has advanced plans to break you.

Homoerotica in all of its colours and flavours is set to provide an erotic undertone to a moment of telephone madness around the 6th.

This month your destiny is in charge of hot to medium mint sucking candies.

 

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Other Horoscopes for this month
Mar 20 - Apr 19
Apr 20 - May 19
May 20 - Jun 20
Jun 21 - Jul 21
Jul 22 - Aug 22
Aug 23 - Sept 21
Sept 22 - Oct 22
Oct 23 - Nov 21
Nov 22 - Dec 21
Dec 22 - Jan 19
Jan 20 - Feb 17
Feb 18 - Mar 19