Aries - September 2008 - Funny Horoscope

This month you will use the term 'most agreeable' for the first and last time in your life in a strange James Bond type situation in which the saying of this magic two-word term will serve as a password to instant gratification on many levels. England is also well starred in other spheres of your life throughout the month as Neptune discovers the joys and confusing mystery of umbrellas.

A video cassette from times past will reenter your reality this month and will gnaw at your conscience. You don't have a video cassette machine any more as you have sensibly upgraded to DVDs and hard disk mpegs. Either find someone who still has a video cassette player, and who will allow you a private viewing of what we assume is some sort of naughty home video, or destroy the evidence by renewing your love of pulling the cassette slowly apart by unclicking the cover thingie at the front and then pull the video tape out slowly at first and then with all of your might at arms lengths at times until the spinner either breaks or bursts into flames and the room is filled with the copious joys of magnetic tape.

This month your destiny wears the red shoes and ball gown of a Hollywood star from a glossy motion picture.


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Mar 20 - Apr 19
Apr 20 - May 19
May 20 - Jun 20
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Jul 22 - Aug 22
Aug 23 - Sept 21
Sept 22 - Oct 22
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